I've been thinking about telling them about me cutting, like when i weigh myself i don't wear wrist warmers but before i take of my shirt i tell her so then when we go back she will have to tell my parents. But just the thought of it makes me nauseas... I'm so scared she will be angry at me but i'm so sick & tired of hiding em i can't wear what i want & i'm afraid everyday that i would slip up or something. I want to be comfortable in my own skin but i'm afraid she will judge meh.
We'll see but if i don't wear my wrist warmers i will have no other choice because i have to take my shirt off. What if this is the wrong choice,all of my cuts aren't even healed yet but i can't do this anymore, it feels like i'm lying. I feel so fecking guilty all the time but i don't know if i'm ready to stop cutting it's something i do almost every day...
So Panda's probably coming over tomorrow for awhile, that's good i've been so lonely.
I have this weird feeling inside of me, a bad one i don't know how to describe it but it feels like something's 'bout to change & i don't like it one bit.
I'm supposed to be at dads tomorrow again but i refuse i'm going to lock myself in my room, i can't stand him anymore, he's so damn annoying. I feel so disgusted by myself but not for the usual reason just that feeling i have, i hate it.
Bring Me The Horizon – Empire (Let Them Sing)