söndag 9 februari 2014

Someones past is always greener but i'm a believer

It's getting of control, there's blood everywhere. My computer, carpet, hands things, clothes. It won't stop bleeding....I have to clean this up, i didn't want to stop but i had too because there weren't enough paper. It's just getting worse & worse but i don't want to stop, i need this.
What if these scars will never fade away? I can't have people asking or just having scars on my wrists... I just want to be normal, what if i get children & the would ask why i have scars??


Right now i'm baking healthy pop tarts ( Gluten-free ), i baked some yesterday too but it wasn't enough so now i'm baking a double batch.  They won't be pretty because this is so fucking hard & it's the first time baking with gluten-free flour...
It's so much fun baking pop tarts & they are delicious!

The dough is in the fridge right now but i'm taking it out in a few minutes, Music is on & i'm singing along.


I'm home now & they loved my Pop tarts! We had a good time but Jesse pooped in the car not fun.


This dots means that i'm writing it on different times so yeah it's 10 pm now & i know for a fact that i don't wanna go to school tomorrow i just don't have enough energy. If mom makes me i will just skip food. It's pretty mean but i just can't stand going to school, omg i just remembered that i'm visiting the new school ( not gonna happen on my watch ). She can't make me go if i don't eat right?
I can feel al the weight i've put on so i can't eat so much tomorrow, maybe just fruits or something.
I'm getting so fucking fat i just want it all off! Ugh why do i keep doing this to myself? I want to get back on to the skinny track but here i am on the fat track...        

Well i'm off to some self destruction, & oh tomorrow i'm probably going to tell you about some plans we talked about doing on winter break ( with my cousin, her mom, me & my mom ).

You Me At Six – Lived a Lie


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