Now my parents know & it feels okay i guess, i have also thrown away my blades...
I just did it without over thinking it because if i would i don't think i would be able to throw them away.
Mom didn't get angry, instead we talked about how she's going to help me from not trying to hurt myself in the night. So she's going to lay in my bed at night & she's going to read a book out loud.
I hope it will help...
So this day is a a lot of cleaning because my cousin & her mom is coming down on Monday, i have started on my room & now i am dead tired. Listen to Restoring Force while i were cleaning!
I've been playing a lot of Sims & i'm thinking of buying another expansion but i don't know witch one.
My examples are "Into the future, University, Generations or seasons but i can't make up my damn mind. I'm leaning into either into the future or seasons... Someone want to help me? :3
Yesterday it was Valentine's Day but i really don't give a crap about that but either way i baked some cute coconut-lime tarts because mom wanted something fresh.
We also finished the first season of Heroes & i loved it, my favorite is of course Peter Petrelli <3 he's so kind hearted & cute, he's perfect.
I ordered Into the future, i read in some reviews that he liked this one & i agreed from what i read so it should be here in the beginning of next week.
I really want to cut right now i don't know what to do...i hate myself so much & i don't want to do this anymore, i can't take it it's so hard, i'm weak & pathetic. If i would have my blade right now i would use it, i'm fucking crying the thoughts won't go away.
I'm all alone, i have no one & i don't want to bother mom, i don't want her to see me like this. I'm sounding like a complete idiot or something... I'm just hoping she will check up on me but it never happens...
A Day To Remember – Best Of Me