tisdag 7 januari 2014

I'll bet their minds would change, They'd change if they knew the pain.

I ate homemade chocolate ice cream... tsk tsk tsk, Bunnii you shouldn't have done that.
The ice cream was made of coconut milk, canned. 100 gram coconut milk = 150 kcal... Yupp...
I didn't eat a buck load of ice cream ,i sliced some banana in it also.

Nut tomorrow mom's working, she's often not working because she have to take "care" of me so she has this thing the doctor give my parents so they can be home for me. So tomorrow & until friday i'm going to with dad, Yay...  I feel terrible about that my mom almost never works because i live here most of the time & she doesn't earn as much money now & she likes her job & wants to meet all her work friends... But anyhow she will call me to wake me up when she's at work, soooo i can skip breakfast yay! I shouldn't have eaten that ice cream. So if i say i started my "fast" around 22:00, & tomorrow i will say how long it took before dad forces food into my mouth. I really don't know why i'm doing this because i hate reading blogs about them wanting to lose weight & not eating in ex. 18 hours & how they should have an food schedule together, it makes me sick to my stomach that a person can help someone destroy another human being, to help them get sick, to encourage them when they didn't eat for 24 hours. Ugh. I could never do that to anyone except myself, i'm a monster & self abuse is my favorite hobby. I purge, i smoke, i cut, i starve(d) & i beat myself up in every way i can.

But no another human should do that to themselves, your body is your temple & a temple you should love & respect. But come on this is reality, i hate my body i want to cut everywhere, my throat, all over my arm, stomach, legs, back, everywhere. 

To look on a better view dad just ordered Rock Band: Green Day, i love those games, i'm a sucker for the guitar. It's mah fav.

Right now i just wanna cuddle with my baby Jesse so i'm going to do that right now!.

I'm so gonna post a picture on her, she's growing :3 I love my baby.

Sew Intricate – If You Knew


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